


My pet tape recorder

by Pezzythecat



Category: The Magnus Archives
Genre: M/M, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:42:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22337995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pezzythecat/pseuds/Pezzythecat
Summary: My slice of life that didnt make the cut in the tma fluff thing ...Tim Martin and Jon and the pet tape recorders...
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43
Collections: The Fluff Archives





	My pet tape recorder

_ Int archive breakroom, the sound of a kettle  _

(Sound of tape recorder starting and falling on the floor,)

**Tim**

(fu)...uk off (clicks in halfway through the first word)

Martin! ...Martin… did you put this here?

( sound of Martin wheeling over the floor in an office chair)

**Martin**

Another one?

**Tim**

( sarcastic) Yeah, another one.

**Martin**

Maybe Jon wants you to record another statement?

**Tim**

Why would he put it in the cupboard with the tea bags?

**Martin**

I didn’t even know you knew where we kept the tea bags?

**Tim**

Believe it or not, we did make tea when you weren’t here you know.

**Martin**

Well, that’s a lie, Carly in cafe dropped you in it, 

**Tim**

(huffs)The short one with the pigtails smiles too much, seemed to really like making tea?

You know...you in an apron with a name badge and an actual coffee machine?

**Martin**

yes, That Carly, said you were in there about four times a day … I dunno cheating on me with the girl in the cafe, I'm offended.

**Tim**

well, you were gone for nearly two weeks you know, a man can die of thirst in that time.

**Martin**

Clearly

**Tim**

Anyway… why is there a tape recorder in the between the bourbons and the custard creams and why did it just attack me?

**Martin**

Is it recording?

**Tim**

Apparently so…

  
  


_ Tape clicks off _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


( tape clicks on) 

**Martin**

Did it move yet?

(sound of a cup of tea being put down on a desk and Martin drinking from another)

**Tim**

No 

**Martin**

Maybe it only moves when you aren't looking at it? 

**Tim**

( scoffing) Don’t blink kind of thing?

**Martin**

I dunno...Maybe? 

(Tim wrinkles a packet. We hear something clatter on the floor in the distance, he's throwing peanuts, hobnobs, paperclips, (dealers choice)

  
  


**Tim**

Nothing in a statement about tape recorder growing legs and moving is there?

**Martin**

Not in any I’ve read.

**Tim**

Maybe they breed in the walls. Maybe they scuttle about when we aren't looking, making baby tape recorders ...

**Martin**

That just sounds ridiculous.

**Tim**

Yet  _ every day _ we seem to have more of them, maybe we should I dunno … put a ring of salt around them, hire a priest to do some sort of exorcism? 

**Martin**

It’s just a tape recorder Tim stop being so dramatic, Jon probably just left it lying about that’s all. ( sound of walking towards the tape recorder) I’ll take it back to him.

**Tim**

( mocking, mimicking martin in the background ) Jon probably just left it lying around, ( to Martin still mocking but not in a nasty way) any excuse … what’s wrong, lovers tiff? He banned you from taking him tea?

**Martin**

( flustered) n… no?

**Tim**

I’m joking 

(tape clicks off)

  
  
  


Int Archives 

(Tape clicks on )

**Martin**

Statement of ...well Martin Blackwood-

**Tim**

( cuts across martin)

And Tim Stoker 

**Martin**

And Tim Stoker … regarding the strange tape recorders that keep showing up in the archives.

**Tim**

It’s a stupidly large amount considering nobody used a tape recorder in about fifteen years.

I mean where would you even buy one from these days?

**Martin**

Tim…( about to tell him off)

**Tim**

Ok sorry … anyway, it started out as one or two, but now … it’s like there humping in the walls or something… we’ve tried... feeding them...

**Martin**

No, (exasperated cutting Tim off) you tried feeding them… They’re tape recorders, I don’t think they eat, and definitely not custard creams.

**Tim**

Says you… ( Martin scoffs) O.K, _ I _ tried feeding them… didn’t work… but they keep turning themselves on and it's not normal attacking a man when he’s making a ...

**Martin**

**(cuts across Tim)**

We tried to take one apart but you can’t get the back off, Tim dropped one in his tea and it kept recording… it’s not right.

_ Sound of a door opening … more tape recorders click into life. _

**Jon**

What's not right?.... _ (sighs) _ should I ask why there’s salt all over the floor or…

**Tim**

Best not too boss

**Martin**

Science?

**Jon**

Really? 

**Martin (flustered)**

Sort of…

_ Awkward silence tape recorder static … _

**Jon**

Anyway … I have to go see Elias. (huffs) Maybe some of the salt could … I don’t know….. not be here when I get back? 

_ Tim and martin make vague yeah ok whatever noises. They have no intention of cleaning up the rings of salt surrounding the tape recorders. _

_ Sound of Jon leaving  _

**Martin**

( content sigh) 

**Tim**

How are you equal parts annoying and adorable ?

**Martin**

Hu? (Realization) I was staring again, right?

**Tim**

Just a bit

**Martin**

I can't help it if I'm easily distracted… 

**Tim**

No, I'm easily distracted.

You’re borderline obsessed

**Martin**

(Non-committal… you're not wrong kind of noises )

**Tim**

He listens to all the tapes you know. He will find out eventually. 

**Martin**

Your right… oh sh(it)( tape cuts off)

  
  
  


_ Int Archivists office _

_ Sound of the tape recorder. _

**Jon**

(Sighs)

Supplemental… should I be worried about the fact that two of my assistants seem to be ...planning something? I can't help worrying that this need to project on to inanimate objects may be some sort of code .. for what I'm not sure.

But I need Tim and Martin to concentrate on their investigation… not whatever this obsession that Martin seems to have developed. I can't help but wonder what it is …

( knock on the door )

Come In.

**Martin**

Tea? 

  
  


( tape clicks off) 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
